The first feeling a mother undergoes while discovering she is pregnant is the feeling of fear. Even before happiness far sets in as a natural response.
The fear of whether she is good enough, good enough to carry that tiny being around, strong enough to push it through, patient enough to deal with the crying, and the list never ends.
Fear gets the best of us. We all have experienced fear as mothers at some point in our lives, which can be a stumbling block that holds us back from being the best moms for our children.
Fear can’t hold you back forever if you don’t let it. There are several ways to overcome fear. Here are my top 9:
1. Relying on Allah:
Relying on Allah is one mighty and positive thought. We need to depend on Him for everything in our lives and, most notably, our children. As mothers, we always feel we know the best for our children, often forgetting that our children are an Amanah from Allah (S.W.T).
We rely on Him and consistently make the most potent duas for our children.
2. SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION
As mothers, we live in a world of “what if “more than reality.
Ask yourself what is going on, locate the facts and place them over your feelings.
3. IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER
To deal with any problem, you must first be aware of and acknowledge it. The same is true for fear. It would be best if you found what triggers your anxiety.
Example: You might have gotten lost or heard about it so much that it triggers you to fear that for your child.
4. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Every day, list out 1-3 things you are thankful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, and gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which over time, overcomes fear.
It can be as small as feeding your child on time or bathing him.
5. LOOK AT THE GLASS HALF FULL
Perception is mighty, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So think positively, and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success as a parent. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have? Work on reversing this one thought. Over time, this will become a habit.
6. PRACTICE BREATHING EXERCISES
Breathing helps center your body; when you stop breathing, your heart stops beating. You can do a grounding exercise or even take five deep, long breaths at any point to calm and center yourself. It is best to start your day with this, but feel free to practice all day long.
7. CREATE A SAFE SPACE
As mothers, when you feel overwhelmed, you always need space to unwind from the chaos.
When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when ill feelings begin- whether this is a real place such as your bedroom or an area in your mind such as the beach.
Please keep in mind that these are just seven strategies. Not everything works for everyone. But this is a place to start. Start implementing these techniques in your life, and don’t let fear hold you back from enjoying this beautiful journey of motherhood.
