As my eyelids feel heavy and body starts to shiver again,my head bangs and my back feel like it’s breaking. My feet turn cold as ice and breath turns warm but my little toddler knows nothing what’s happening. He cries for attention has all his cars lined below my pillow and worst he keeps asking for a bed time story.
Yes, I have been tested positive for covid and let me tell you its not mild. This is the second time in the last 12 months I have contracted the virus and this being said after being fully vaccinated. For all those government people shouting at the top of their voice it’s mild, sorry it’s not. For a women who could stand alone and roll over 30 chapatis in half an hour I couldn’t finish four. I am no where capable of lifting my 2 year old. As I confine my self to my bed my older children get into action. Cleaning, washing dishes I watched amazed how when I stepped back they were keen to fill my shoes. And that realization that aren’t we as parents too over occupied with the thought our children cannot be left on their own. Not once the shout that someone has taken a toy. It amazed me how my 9 and 7 year old took over the mantle of not only keeping the house clean but looked after their younger sibling. So many times we as mothers hardly give them that independence that confidence not at least me.
Even with four children I am a helicopter mother, and today the realization hit hard they do not need me to be around them 24/7.I can relay on them believe in them. As I look back at the last time I got infected I was anxious, frightened to the core but not this time.My mindset now has made me think of what all is right in this situation, a guess a bit of self work gives you that bit of positivity. Even as my body breaks I remember that I’ll be given pain only the one that I can endure, in this moment of pain I now know I have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness and for once slow down and think where am I heading in life.
Is everything that I do on a daily basis worth the time? And most importantly how well did I take care of my body after the first infection. As with every mother who hardly takes time out to work on their bodies. Last time I had lost considerable amount of weight owing to covid which I still haven’t gained back. It’s time again to stop the rat race and sit still and reflect lessons which where learned earlier and forgotten and lessons which weren’t learned and now it’s time to learn.
Most importantly the fact that life is so short, your time here is precious. As I struggle to write further as the temp rises in this moment of extreme pain I ask my Allah to heal me because there is no pain in this world he won’t heal and ask Him to make a barrier between my disease and my children so it’s doesn’t touch them became it’s only He who has the power of miracles and this miracle I ask for my beloved children.
